Singapore Photos Series 2: Bartering for the Bride

This entry assumes you’ve already caught up on Singapore Photo Series 1: Pre-Wedding Festivities!

Okay, now here’s some coverage of the Steph and Seiwei Wedding, Day 1.  Yes, I believe this is the first wedding I’ve attended that spanned over 24 hours.  =]  First event: Bartering for the Bride.  In Singaporean culture, it is traditional for the groom to carefully select a band of “brothers” who accompany him to the house of bride, only be be stopped at the door by the bride’s own posse of “sisters.”

Here we are at the entrance to Steph’s place early in the morning.  Once arrived, the brothers then have to do everything possible to gain entry into the house, which usually involves performing a variety of embarrassing or challenging stunts, swallowing horribly spicy/sour/bitter concoctions, offering wads of money, and generally groveling a lot to appease the sisters.

Strangely, this band of brothers had some ideas of its own and tried to convince Seiwei to insist that the sisters should pay US to take away the bride.  Hmm… Here’s Brian trying to lay down the “new rules” to head mistress, Kristina.

Okay, that did not work so well.  We were promptly punished with some sit-ups and synchronized jumping jacks while we had to yell “I love Stephanie!” in Cantonese at the top of our lungs.

“So, that’s it, right?  We can go in now, right?” brother Tee-Sing and Galen reasoned.  Um, no.  Next, the sisters told us through the locked grating that we boys needed to experience what it really took for the ladies to upkeep their silky smooth skin… by each guy having to de-hair a patch on their leg with a Veet wax strip.  Wow, you should’ve seen the terror in each man’s eyes at the thought of it.  “They can’t be SERIOUS, right?” we reasoned…  For minutes we hemmed and hawed, hanging on to the small hope that maybe the girls would return to the door and say it was all a big joke and we didn’t REALLY have to do it…

“Hey, do you want to come in here or NOT?” sneered the guardian of the door.  Nobody had applied the terrible wax strip yet.  All the brothers were still in disbelief and we hemmed and hawed some more… After the door slammed in our faces a few more times, and the ladies taunted us mercilessly, brave brother Vitali finally applied the first wax strip, allowed it to harden around the leg hairs for just a moment, and then ripped it off with all of his might.  Wow.  The hair.  Oh, the hair.  Well, the deed was started, and now it had to be completed.  Each brother in turn decided which leg he valued less, applied the wax strip with much trembling, and then ripped it off like he’d never ripped before.  Much screaming and yelling ensued, and I have no photos because I was… busy.  A sister later confided in me that she was quite astounded during the inspection which followed.  “I really didn’t think THAT much hair would come off!”

[Photos removed here to protect the innocent]

To our shock, after the inspection, we were still not granted entry into the house!  The sisters said we had to pay up.  $13,888 to be exact.  WHAT!?  The groom was furious and refused to pay up!   So they slammed the door in our face.  When they returned, we answered some challenge questions, which allowed us to pick another bride price from a set of sealed envelopes.  Inside was the number $1,388.  “You better empty your pockets and pay up or you’re not coming in,” the guardian of the door announced firmly before slamming the door.  So did we start emptying our pockets?

No, we tried to break in instead.  It turns out Brian had a spare key to the place from helping out with some errands the other day.  Outside, the brothers pushed the door inward, pressing in for the victory.  Inside, sisters and spectators screamed and scrambled to reinforce the door.  We were deadlocked in a stalemate, with Brian’s arm thrust precariously in the doorway.  Not willing to lose his Best Man’s arm, Seiwei called for a truce and both sides began to calm down.

“Was this seriously supposed to impress us?” the guardian of the door said with disappointment as the other sisters gathered around to block further entry into the house.  Okay, I must admit, I don’t know how breaking in was supposed to help us either.  Whoops, so now what?

“Okay, guys, help me pay up…”  We emptied our pockets, and reluctantly came up with the final asking price, $888.88.  We’re in!  But what challenges lay ahead?

The first challenge was called Suan-Tian-Ku-La, basically involving something from each of the four food groups, Sour, Sweet, Bitter, Spicy, which were to represent various characteristics of marriage.  Here, we all watched Galen to see if he would explode after swallowing the red hot chili pepper.  I think he needed a moment to decide for himself whether or not his tongue wanted to go back to America.  The nasty surprise I got was that I mistook the BITTER melon for a slice of SWEET fruit.  Spitting it across the room was not an option…

The rest of the indoor challenges were not too bad, including the brothers needing to sing and dance to “I’m Too Sexy” and Jeff acting out the part of the pussy cat.  The challenges ended with Seiwei being required to yell out the 10 things he loved about Steph so that she could hear him from her secured chamber at the other end of the apartment.  “STEPH, I LOVE THE WAY YOU LOVE ME!!!!” he finally proclaimed as #10 with a resounding shout.

So, does Seiwei get the girl, after all this?  Find out next time!  Thanks for reading!  =]

Now, move on to Singapore Photo Series 3: Tea Ceremony!